Bounties Are Troublesome Things
by Lizzy-Kun
Summary: Hidan and Kakuzu head out to Edo to claim a bounty on famed terrorist Katsura Kotaro. What they didn't count on was the constant distractions, a silver haired samurai, and omelette rice. Crossover with Gintama.


**Bounties Are Troublesome Things Lesson 1:**

If You're a Fugitive Terrorist, Homicidal Men May Come to Claim Your Head

_Well it's been awhile eh? Well, here's some new nonsense for you to enjoy. It'll probably span 3, maybe 5 chapters max...if I don't get tired of it first. XP Crosses over with the Gintama universe. I just wanted to see Kakuzu and Hidan try and go after Katsura. I'd imagine he'd have a pretty impressive reward on his head to get Kakuzu going.  
_

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Kakuzu was good at finding bounties to haul in the money for Akatsuki to pull the strings to get what they needed. This trip lead them to a prospective bounty in the city of Edo. A city with plenty of it's own problems. Akatsuki's presence here among the scum and villiany would pale in comparison to some of the usual goings on. Still the Leader insisted they do nothing rash to stand out. If Edo learned of Akatsuki, they wouldn't stand a chance of setting foot in the place ever again. Not to mention if word got out it would become increasingly difficult for the organization to make any move forward.

"For Serious?" The Hidan questioned his partner as he made his way to the dank hotel room door.

"Yes for serious now come on!" Came the not-so-amused reply from his masked counterpart.

Hidan had a knack for pissing him off. Why couldn't the Leader match him up with someone else? Even Tobi would have been a godsend in comparison...if he believed in such a being that is. Hidan did, but not in the usual sense. Hidan's god was a blood loving god, and the source of Kakuzu's frustrations with his partner. He could handle the whole thing if Hidan wasn't so obsessed with rubbing the dogma in at every last chance he could get.

Hidan took a moment to consider, "Fine, but is this guy really worth it?"

"You could say that. He's a radical terrorist who's succeeded in evading Edo's special police force on several occasions, and is responsible for many immigrant terrorist attacks. An S-rank bounty worthy of any ANBU bingo book." He dug into his pocket and removed a photograph of the stone faced man with long black hair, handing it over to Hidan. "His name is Katsura Kotaro."

Despite the constant arguing, Hidan could be professional about prospective targets, his abilites were a valuable asset to their team, even if by far he was the least skilled out of the organization.

Hidan raised an eyebrow at the photograph in his hand, "Are you out of your damn mind Kakuzu? Is this even a man?" He squinted, "Looks like a chick to me...must condition regularly, pretty impressive for someone always on the run..."

Kakuzu grimaced beneath his mask. "Just get a move on!" he sneered through clenched teeth, snatching the photograph back out of Hidan's hand. He pushed past him, towards the door.

Hidan stared back at him with a funny look on his face, forcing Kakuzu to look back in his direction. "What's the problem now Hidan?"

"We're leaving now?"

"Yes of course we're leaving now! We've got a job to do!"

The silver haired man shifted from one foot to the other, "But I haven't showered yet!" He proclaimed with all the air of a cranky child.

Kakuzu glared vehemently, "I really fucking hate you." but Hidan had already begun digging in the closet for a towel.

He emerged slamming the closet door shut and shooting Kakuzu an angry glare. "FUCK YOU TOO, YOU INCONSIDERATE ASSHOLE!" he shouted before continuing to slam the bathroom door behind him.

"I'm going to kill him one day." Hidan couldn't die. He knew this from experience, but when things like this happened Kakuzu felt sure as hell that he could find a way. More than a little frustrated, he slumped into the creaky hotel couch, intending to watch the Oedo News report in case there were any new developments to Katsura's case, when he realized the TV set had to be turned on and tuned manually.

Half an hour and two very unorthodox weather reports by some weird woman named Ketsuno Ana later, Hidan still hadn't come out of the shower and Kakuzu was running out of patience. He pushed off the couch and began pounding on the bathroom door. "Hidan it's been over half an hour already, hurry the hell up in there before I pull you out by your damn hair!"

On the other side of the door Hidan quite audiably groaned, "Shut the fuck up Kakuzu, I'm almost out!" He turned off the water and reached for his towel. "Stupid showers in Edo take forever to heat up..." He dried himself, tossed on his clothes taking special care when combing back his hair before opening the bathroom door, allowing a considerable amount of steam to escape in the process.

Kakuzu stood glaring daggers at him. "Finally, you're worse than a damn female."

Hidan frowned, "Like you'd know, he pointed a finger in Kakuzu's direction. "I like to smell nice and be clean dammit!" But Kakuzu had already turned his back on him.

"Whatever, we're leaving." He pushed the door open and began descending the stairs outside to the busy Edo street with Hidan following still crabbing.

"You do realize it's your fault we're even here in the first place Kakuzu!" Hidan retorted as he passed a monk loitering against the wall of stairs.

"Shut up Hidan. Just remember Katsura is our top priority."

"Yeah, yeah..."

As the two missing nin's exited the vicinity, the sound of a walkie talkie emitted from the monk's robes. He calmly removed it from his sleeve.

"Gold Hawk, do you read me? Over."

"IT'S NOT GOLD HAWK IT'S KATSURA!" The monk replied with unflinching intensity.

"But, uh Gold Hawk we're supposed to use code-"

"IT'S KATSURA!" Katsura bellowed over to the now very confused recipient at the other end.

"Uh...Katsura-san then, what is your status?"

"Information gathering outside the Little Oedo Hotel. Found a possible threat."

"Your orders sir?"

Katsura leaned back against the stairs, looking in the direction Hidan and Kakuzu took. "It's nothing I can't handle. We'll be in touch."

"Over and out."


End file.
